Apart from maintaining healthy, enjoyable friendships, creating those friendships can be a difficult task. However, it is certainly not impossible. With a nice, warm personality and a friendly presence, you can allure new friends like no other. Then, as a result of this, you will have a multitude of friends; a variety of genuine, thoughtful, caring friends who will like you for who you really are.
First, the most fundamental rule of making friends is authenticity. Nobody wants to be friends with a fake; plus, how can you trust someone who is constantly lying about their personality and life? When you go to a party or visit a new school, you may not know anyone, so you may be tempeted to conjure up the best-sounding identity of yourself to reveal to the potentially new friends you can make. However, not only are many of these lies far-fetched and unbelievable, but it will be harder to make friends that way. As many who have made this dreadful mistake have learned, hiding the real you will become harder and harder to do. So just be yourself. Act naturally. As the quote goes, “no one can be a better you than you.” With this, you will make down-to-earth friends who like you for the real you and no one else.
Then, once you have familiarized yourself with someone new and are beginning to develop a connection, proceed to speak about your interests and hobbies. Keep in mind, though, that you may have very few–or in some cases, not any–of these in common, so try to keep your mind open to discussing unfamiliar topics. This way, no matter what, you will always have something about which you can converse with your soon-to-be friend. Occasionally, you may find that you have polar opposite views on a certain controversial issue, on which none of you wish to differ. in scenarios like this, the best thing to do is just to avoid speaking about this issue–the first time you meet, at least. (Later on, once you have developed a connection as good friends, you can have a fun debate on the issue–a fun thing to do if you and a friend ever get bored!) For instance, you could meet someone who seems like the perfect friend for you: someone who is funny, is looking into applying to the same colleges as you, and has feminist views similar to yours. Then you unfortunately realize that they are strongly opposed to black rights, however you are known for being a devoted proponent of black rights. When you first meet them and discuss all that you have in common and realize your opposition to his/her view on black rights, try to deviate from the topic: it’s the best way to show that you respect their opposing opinion and would rather not argue about it at this time.
Lastly, act like a real friend. You may ask: how does a real friend act? Well, after you meet your new friend, make a pact to stay in touch or call each other up to hang out or chat. (Ask for their number, perhaps.) Real friends form friendships that last lifetimes. Real friends call each other up and inquire about each other lives, genuinely curious to see how the friend is doing in life.
Through these careful steps, making a new friend becomes as simple as making a sandwich. Just remember: be yourself, stay open-minded, and try to be warm and friendly, and you’ll make a new, genuine friend in no time!